Alright, so I know I have been absolutely pathetic at keeping the blog up, but I swear I have an excuse! In keeping with the last post, you all know that I wrote a novel last month. It's not very good, but I figured that I’d prove to you that I wasn’t lying by giving you an excerpt of it to read, so here it is:
March 11th, 2012
Starting Point: Somewhere in the Jungle
Ending Point: Somewhere in the Jungle
Hours Clocked according to Google: none. Absolutely none.
Distance Covered: nowhere.
Injuries sustained: one. Still.
Sight of Jaime: of course not.
Dear Diary,
We’re on day three with no Jaime. We had planned on refilling our water bottles at streams that we passed along the hike, but since we’ve been camping for so long, we haven’t found anything. We are beginning to run low on water. We’re still good for food for a little bit, but I’m going to have to get Anna back as soon as possible. Her leg seemed to have been healing okay, but I think it might have become infected. It’s turned an unnatural purple colour, and she is starting to look quite sick.
I’m getting really antsy, alone with my thoughts. Anna and I have had a few conversations, but mostly she just sleeps. After all, that is the only way she can dull the pain. This is a different kind of alone than I’ve felt befre. It’s not the kind of alone you feel when you’re driving down the highway, alone, listening to music and feeling happy to get away for a bit. This is the kind of alone you feel when you know you are miles and miles away from the nearest person, and even further from anywhere you would call home. It’s the feeling of having no one by your side, no sounds to keep you company, not even the gentle hum of traffic that you used to hate but have grown to relish the comfort of.
Like I said, I am alone with my thoughts. And the bugs. And sometimes Anna.
I have to admit, having her here is somewhat of a comfort, even though her broken leg is the reason that we are in this situation. I’m not saying I blame her for breaking her leg, but would it have killed her to be a bit more careful?
No, I don’t mean that. Accidents happen and we have to make the best of the situation. After all, even in her semi-conscious state, she’s still a great conversational companion. Last night, waiting for Jaime’s return, we had an interesting conversation about love. It started with my very subtle hint that Jaime might have been interested in her.
“So, Anna,” I started, knowing that tact was of the utmost importance in this situation. “Jaime’s a really great guy, huh?”
“Yeah, he’s really sweet. I can’t believe he went out of his way to go find me a splint. I feel so guilty about it.”
“Don’t carry that weight on you, you have enough to worry about as is. I sent him out into the jungle, I’m the one that should take the blame for this. Although, you know he’d do anything for you.” I added playfully.
“I know. He’s got the biggest crush on me, I can tell. And he’s such a gentleman. But he’s not the kind of guy I normally go out with. He’s younger than me, and he’s so small. I don’t normally date guys I could beat up, and I could take Jaime in a second.”
“Oh, give him a little more credit. He’s tougher than he seems.”
“I suppose he’d have to be with his past, but it’s just… I don’t want to be the one to break the poor boy. Look at me,” she continued, moving slightly to showcase her body art. “My history is written all over me. I’ve got a past; I’m not someone he should be with. This is even more obvious now, given what’s already happened with the two of us, and we’re not even dating! The idiot ran off into the jungle to help me and now he’s either injured, or captured by the FARC or the Panamanian police or worse. Don’t get me wrong, if we ever get out of this alive, I’ll give the man a kiss for the effort, but we just wouldn’t work.”
“You don’t know until you try! I mean look at me and Grace. Sure, it isn’t working out right now, but I thought she was way out of my league when I met her. If I hadn’t taken a chance, who knows where we’d be right now. Probably not here, that’s for sure. I wouldn’t have had the amazing life I had up until now, with my two wonderful kids. Damn it, I’ve been such an idiot.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over it, Will. She loves you, and she’s still cooling off. It’s a big thing that you did, just up and running away like that, she had every right to be as angry as she wanted.”
“I guess. I’m just so worried that I’ve messed everything up for good. I love her so much, what on earth was I thinking?” The more I talked, the more of a mess I became, until I was lying in the tent with Anna, my head on her shoulder, sobbing like a baby. For once, though, maybe because of the kindness I’d shown her when she broke her leg, she didn’t mock me. She didn’t make fun of me; she didn’t push me away, reminding me that I was not to touch her. Instead she just lay there, stroking my back, and softly singing a sweet melody, calming me down, and reminding me that it was all going to be okay.
When I awoke this morning, I was still cuddling with Anna. It should have felt wrong, but it was nice to have someone to hold, even if it was just as friends. I got up, heated up some of the remaining water for coffee, and poured two cups. I sweetened hers with sugar, poured the rest of the hot water into some instant oatmeal for breakfast, and returned to the tent with my hands full of goodies.
“Any sign?” Anna asked, not having to say anything more.
“Not that I could tell.” I replied, wishing with all my heart that I could give her a different answer.
“Well, isn’t that just shitty,” she replied, taking the coffee and oatmeal off my hands as she said so. She quickly ate the oatmeal, not stopping to savour its taste, then asked for my help getting out of the tent.
“Why do want out?” I enquired sweetly, acting innocent.
“You know very well why I want out. Don’t act all high and mighty. My leg is broken. I am in pain. Someone I care about has been gone for days now, and he is God knows where. I’m stuck in the middle of the jungle. Now help me out of the tent so I can have a cigarette, or I will try using my leg, and you’ll have to re-set it again.”
I couldn’t really argue with that logic, so I put my arm around her, and helped her hobble to her seat outside the tent. I gave her back her cup of coffee, and her pack of smokes, and set her down, plopping myself next to her.
“You know, you’re going to run out soon. If this is how bitchy you are now, how bad are you going to be then?”
“Will, you don’t want to know.” She replied, puffing on her cigarette to light it, and blowing a little smoke back into my face.
She had a point, so I left it at that. We sat there in silence for a few minutes, me drinking my coffee, her finishing her cigarette. When she had stubbed out the butt, I figured it was as good a time as any to broach the subject with her.
“So Anna, it’s been a few days now. I’m finding it harder and harder to believe that Jaime is going to be coming back any time soon. You really need to get to a hospital. I don’t think we can just sit here and wait for him anymore. What should we do?” I asked, seriously hoping that she’d have some sort of magic answer.
“I don’t know what we should do,” she sighed, obviously unhappy with her own answer. “I have been thinking about it non-stop. There’s no one perfect answer, but I think the best thing I could come up with is this. We leave a few notes here, in case he somehow manages to make his way back, saying that we’ve headed back to Yaviza to get me some medical attention. Then we head back, moving slowly, and leaving plenty of marks, so he can follow us if he gets lost. I really can’t think of anything else we could possibly do,” Anna admitted, sounding slightly defeated.
“No, that’s good. That’s probably the best we’ll be able to come up with. We should leave some supplies here too, just in case he turns out to need them. We have no idea what kind of shape he’s in after his three day foray into the jungle.”
“Sounds good. Let’s get me to a hospital.” Anna finished, and with that, we were ready to continue on our way.
Now, we’re packing up the camp and getting ready to start moving again. I gave Anna tasks that she didn’t have to move very far to do. She’s writing the notes for Jaime, putting together his pack, in case he comes back, and cleaning up her area. I’ve been stuck with everything else, since I seem to be the only able-bodied person in the entire jungle. We will walk until tonight, set up camp once more, and hopefully be out of the jungle in three days. Then the only thing we need to do is deal with the Panamanian police, get Anna to the tiny hospital in the town, hope they have the services that are necessary to care for her, and get her the care she needs.
I hope to God that Jaime has made it out of the jungle. I hope he was captured by Panamanians, if he was captured, and he’s waiting in that military booth that we were ushered into when we first got there. I can’t even begin to think of what else could have happened to him.
No, Will. Think positive. It’s the only way that you’re going to make it out of this alive and relatively sane.
Here’s to not dying,
Will.
So yeah, that’s from my book. It consumed my life for a bit, so hopefully I will get back to posting Japan related things shortly! I’m headed home for 3 weeks on Thursday and the ridiculously long trips will hopefully give me plenty of time to blog about a bunch of things!
Sorry once more!
Jeri
